Homosexual Pride

A few days ago I saw a fairly attractive couple, braced with infants strapped to their torsos, absorbed in shopping for infants' items in GVK mall! The only difference was they were both men. Two daddies with their two babies. Another scene on Independence Day at KBR Park in Hyderabad. A group of ten youth did the Freedom Walk with posters stuck to their T-shirts. Each poster was worded differently. “If being gay is a choice, then when did you decide to become straight?” “I’m not gay but I support gay rights because I believe in freedom of love.” “I kissed a girl and I liked it.” The sight evoked curiosity. Some read the posters, and were aghast. And some read a few words and shied away from reading further.

(Designed by Amar Mitra)

Instances, such as these, of lesbian and gay visibility are increasing by the day. And that’s something extremely refreshing and positive. Yet that does not happen in all places. There are some who take objection to that. A friend asked whether gay people have to wear their sexuality on their sleeve.

Homosexuals would not have to wear their sexuality if they were in a society where they were considered equal. I’m sure you have not seen heterosexual men and women walking in a parade, holding banners stating their heterosexual preference. They do not have to. They are not discriminated against within their families and work places because they love or are attracted to someone of the same sex. They do not have to live in insecurity of whether it is fine to share about their life with someone they consider close, out of fear of losing a relationship. They do not experience hatred or confusion or silence from their closest relatives, only because society and the state does not acknowledge and validate homosexual relationships.

The pride of being homosexual is a personal experience which manifests itself as a political act. It is a desire to be acknowledged for who one is in society. It is an invitation for others to accept them for who they are and for who they love. It is cry for wanting to have the same rights as those who love a person of the opposite sex. It is a hope that some more people would be considered equal and not be discriminated for loving another person.

This need to come out is an intrinsic act of survival. One might wonder why some homosexuals do not feel need to foreground their sexual orientation, while others do. The reasons could be various. For some the risks are very high, which would involve the loss of their loved ones, threat to financial security, or perhaps a certain kind of middle class “shame” to the family. For some others, it is the inability to live a life of suffocation where homosexual relationships are not even recognized, least of all considered a norm. While for a few others, their sexuality is visible and their personal, social and economic lives depend upon how others treat them.

Our stubbornness to acknowledge and accept homosexuality has only deteriorated heterosexual marriages. The parental expectations of their children’s marriage, the fictitious belief that the “gay phase” is transitory and the possibility of social ostracism have only led to many unhappy and torturous marriages. Often it is the most vulnerable who have to pay the price. Those who can afford it, get divorced. Most languish in their unhappy marriages. Others commit suicide. Little do we realize that every time in every conversation that we denounce homosexuality, we are unconsciously condemning someone to life of affliction.

For the moment we take great pride that we not only have those who risk themselves fighting for gay rights and but also those who live their lives quietly forging new kinds of relationships and families.

Hyderabadi Homosexuals and the US Consulate

A timid smile on meeting someone for the first time, words exchanged while waiting for a movie to begin, the possibility of a new relationship while chatting over tea, and the affirmation of being who one wants to be in the company of others. Moments like these marked the Rainbow Film Festival in Hyderabad organized by the US Consulate and Wajood. It was a wonderfully quiet and well spent evening, watching films that reflected the actual struggles and tumult of living a wholesome life. Among the audience, they were a shared bond of understanding and compassion as most of them came to witness a cinema which spoke directly to the audience there, who were either lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, or who had LGBT family members or friends or merely those who were curious and came with an open mind. It is during these congregations that we make inroads by widening the horizons of our tolerance and acceptance to include those who did not fit in previously.

And yet, one might ask, why would someone feel threatened and want to thwart such attempts. Why does one feel violated against, when a group of people wants to gather together to watch films? That’s exactly what happened a few hours prior to the event. Annapurna Studios was threatened not to screen these films as it would provoke violence. An MP from a minority community gave a hate speech on the Urdu news, claiming that it violated Islamic and Hyderabadi tradition. Such eventualities only tend to excite unwanted fear, anger and insecurity. It made people feel that some of them are not part of this society, worse still, that they are not human or Indian enough to even watch films collectively. In fact, the studio suggested that the screening be hosted at another venue as it had high stakes involved, keeping the organizers on tenterhooks. Finally through the assurance of protection on the behest of the US Consulate, the event did take place peacefully.

We’ve often heard some people voice out that homosexuality is a western import. And I often smile at their ignorance. Men had intimate relations with men and women had intimate relations with women through all ages, in all societies and, of course, in India too! Even in our literary tradition be it the ancient Indian texts, such as Vyasa’s Mahabharata to medieval material in the Sanskrit and Perso-Urdu tradition, we have several instances of same sex love. (One could always refer to Ruth Vanita’s and Saleem Kidwai’s Same-Sex Love in India.) Homosexuals are everywhere. And they haven’t come from the west. And we have them in all shapes, sizes, classes, castes and religions. (Yes, honourable MP, Muslims included.) Historically and, ipso facto, traditionally, Hyderabad has always been extremely tolerant towards diversity of sexualities. No community or religious leader should restrict or destroy the conditions of living a meaningful life for others, by prescribing for all lives what is only liveable by only a few. 

Rainbow Film Festival

It is a very sorry state of affairs that our own government has not taken a clear stand on homosexuality in India. It’s dismal that in Hyderabad, where there are so many of us, we have few allies. The US Consulate is one among them. It did not take a Hillary Clinton to tell us that gay rights are human rights on International Human Rights Day, for we knew that much before. Yet, the fact that she proclaimed it only brought to light how much still needs to be done for the LGBTs all over the world. The act of a consulate endorsing the arts and fostering the rights of a community goes a long way in creating spaces of love. Above all, in this case, the US Consulate’s intervention is also a political act as it calls attention for the need to act and support the LGBTs among us who are still in a state of limbo in the eyes of the Indian Law. I am sure, in time, we will have more allies, a greater number of people who have the openness and understanding to regard all people in society as equal.